How To Make Friends As An Introvert
Introverts typically don’t have a lot of friends, usually just a few high-quality ones. Most introverts are perfectly fine with that, but let’s say you’re not fine with that. Let’s say those high-quality friendships are starting to fade away for some reason, maybe they got married, moved from town, have kids, a new career, or simply too busy to hang out.
Now what do you do? What any reasonable person does? Buy a time machine and stop them from making these decisions. All joking aside, this can be a frustrating and lonely time and learning how to make friends isn’t easy, but it is well worth the effort. In this article you’ll learn how to make friends as an introvert and the skills it takes to do it.
1. Get Out Your Comfort Zone
“Coming out of your comfort zone is tough in the beginning, chaotic in the middle, and awesome in the end, because in the end, it shows you a whole new world. Make an attempt.” – Anonymous
If you have spent any time in the self-improvement world, then this step should be no surprise to you. You must step out of your comfort zone. There are no ifs, ands, or buts around it. You must go through it just like everyone else who has ever made a change in their life.
Making new friends and being social is going to be a bit uncomfortable at times, especially as an introvert. You have to go places, talk to people, join groups, and be social. It’s sort of like networking and a reality that can’t be ignored. Do not deny the reality, embrace it.
Speaking of friends, if you’re not satisfied with where you are in life right now, then your comfort zone is not your friend. The only way to get that “friend” to stop talking is to prove them wrong. You prove that friend wrong through exposure. First things first, you do not have to jump headfirst into the pool. We’re all playing on different levels, at different difficulties. Do what you can. Do what it takes to succeed socially.
Start small. So small it’s laughable if you must. Progress is progress.
2. Know Thyself
Know what you like. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Now forget your weaknesses and play to your strengths. If thou know thyself, thou will not lose. Be yourself; It’s easier to find your tribe that way.
3. Follow Your Interest
The easiest way to make new friends as an introvert is to do activities you love or are curious about. This may seem obvious, but the one thing you’ll know for sure is that you all share a common interest.
If you like to read, join a book club. If you’re more of the athletic type join an adult sports league. Creative type, maybe a paint night or an art class will be more your speed. The goal is to find a place you can visit regularly and share your interest with others.
Meetup.com is a good place to start. Groupon in my experience has been a great place to try out new activities and meet people as well. There’s also Eventbrite and LivingSocial.com if you want to try those too.
There’s a chance to make a connection no matter what medium you decide to go with. Believe it!
4. Say Yes
If you’ve been invited to a hangout by some coworkers or some associates, say yes. Go hang out, even if you don’t feel like it. If you’re not feeling it after 30 minutes, leave. According to experts that’s not the best way to handle events but screw it. Showing up is half the battle. Especially in the beginning. Pushing through the resistance is a win. Be a winner.
It’s like going to the gym, you can’t expect to bench 300 pounds right off the bat if you never lifted a day in your life. Which is why going to an event with the expectations to make great small talk, look people in the eyes, be charming, and win people’s hearts can be a heavy task.
Building social muscles can take weeks, months, even years to develop. It all depends on how consistent you are. The more you do, the less you you wait.
5. Check-In
Once you start making new friends and connections, you need to check in from time to time. More frequently for new friends until they become old friends. Simply taking a phone number or their Instagram isn’t enough to maintain the friendship.
Checking in, staying in touch, whatever you want to call it, is critical to maintaining friendships. Now that you’re making new friends you want to stay in touch with them on a regular basis. Setting aside time one day out the week to do all your “check-ins” and letting people know you still think about them.
It doesn’t have to be a long thing. Setting aside 30 minutes to an hour of your time is sufficient. Once it becomes a habit it’ll become a lot easier to stay in touch. It’ll also as a reminder how awesome your friends really are.
Closing time: If you want to make new friends, you can do it. You did it before, you can do it again. Also don’t beat yourself if things aren’t going your way. Luck plays a part to when it comes to making friends and today may not be your day. Keep showing up and the rest will handle itself.